Many years ago, when all stories were true, and no one knew any better, a young marionette made of wood and blessed by the Deep Magic came to life. During his youth, he was mischievous, disobedient, and unappreciative of the life his father created for him. After many years and seeing how his disobedience was hurting his father, he wished to be good and to become a real boy. One day, he came across his mother whom he had not known in his earlier years, a fairy with azure hair. He petitioned her with great passion to become a real boy, and because of the love she had for her son, she granted him his wish.

As the years passed on, the boy grew into a man, and his story was heard by many throughout his village. There were other marionettes, also made of wood and blessed by the Deep Magic, who now desired what the boy had been given, the mysterious gift of real life. They too sought the fairy with azure hair, and many had their wish granted. They became not only alive, but real. They became human.

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Ms. Bonard dipped her ladle into the stew and slowly brought it to her mouth. She blew on it ever so lightly, cooling it down, and tasted it to make sure it was seasoned to perfection. She placed the ladle back in the pot of stew, and wiped her hands off on her apron.

“Tobias,” she called as she began to grab plates from the cupboard. “Tobias, come and help me set the table.”

“Coming!” yelled Tobias from the other room. Ms. Bonard sat the plates on the table, then went over to the fireplace to stoke the dying embers. By now the flames had retreated to the warm comfort of its coals.

 

“Here I am,” Tobias announced from atop the stairs. He ricocheted down them like a runaway boulder and  jumped off the last few steps to the kitchen floor, landing with a light thud. A popping noise in his body also accompanied the thud. He looked down at his right leg and noticed it was slightly crooked. Ms. Bonard noticed Tobias’ leg as well. She was hesitant to assist him because he was trying to do more things on his own, as of late.

Tobias rolled up his shorts to exam his lower half while leaning up against the wall so as to not put pressure on his crooked leg.

“Is everything okay?” Ms. Bonard asked, trying to avoid seeming meddlesome.

“Yes, mother. A peg just popped out of my joint socket. I can fix it,” Tobias answered. He had already begun to solve the problem. He fully removed the peg which connected his wooden knee joint to the lower half of his leg. It had become dislodged during his landing. He aligned his two oak appendages once again and inserted the peg through the joint drill holes. The peg snapped into place, and Tobias performed a couple of squats to make sure the lower half of his body was working properly.

“See?” Tobias presented himself proudly to his mother. “All fixed!”

Ms. Bonard smiled pridefully at her son’s accomplishment. It was so difficult to step back and watch her little wooden boy grow up. He was no longer that scared little puppet in the toy maker’s shop. Ms. Bonard only let one tear escape down her cheek as she entertained a memory of Tobias removing his strings for the first time and walking towards her, wobbling like a newborn fawn, eyes fixed on his mother’s warm smile.

“Good. You’re becoming quite the craftsman,” Ms. Bonard congratulated Tobias as she wiped away the single tear, making sure he didn’t notice. “What were you doing upstairs making all that noise?”

Tobias grabbed a stack of plates and began to set the table. “I was playing with my toy soldiers, mother. They were having a battle.”

“A battle? What in heaven’s name were they fighting over?”

“The shelf.”

“A shelf? Why fight over a shelf?” Ms. Bonard asked, seeing if Tobias’ imagination could justify the ruckus he had been making upstairs with his soldiers’ battles.

“It’s not just any shelf mother,” Tobias replied as he set another plate. “They were fighting over the highest shelf in the bedroom. Up there, they can see everything. Every toy on the floor. Every tree outside my bedroom window.” The trees of the northern Italian hills of Civita were quite stunning. The Bonard’s cottage was just a short distance from the Tuscan village of Borigeio.

“Oh my. That does sound like a good reason to go to battle,” Ms. Bonard laughed. She handed the utensils to Tobias after he set the last plate. As Tobias began placing them around the table, he noticed some vegetables on the centerpiece, the likes of which hadn’t been present at earlier meals.

“Mother,” Tobias began, “Are these vegetables from your garden?”

“Yes, they are,” she replied with a smile.

Tobias picked up on her grin. “You love your garden, don’t you mother?”

“Oh yes, very much so,” She said. “The beautiful flowers soothe my restless soul.  

The vegetables provide us with food, and the labor I put into making it grow is most

satisfying. Now, let’s finish setting the table.”

“Mother, why must I help you set the table even though I don’t eat food?” Tobias continued with his evening queries.

“Because it’s your household chore, your responsibility. The same way your brother and sister have household chores,” she gently reminded him.

“But I don’t eat food,” Tobias light-heartedly protested. “So why must it be my responsibility?”

“But the table’s not just for you, is it? It's for your brother and sister as well. And when they get home, we'll all sit down at the dinner table and have fellowship with one another, talk about each other's day, like we always do. Eating is just a small part of dinner.” Ms. Bonard took some wooden bowls over to the stove and began filling them with the broth she’d been preparing. “Hopefully, you will remember these good times, and carry on a dinner tradition one day with your family.”

“My family?” Tobias asked.

“Yes. Your family. One day you will have one, and I hope you make time for them around a dinner table like we have done.” Ms. Bonard finished filling up the final bowl with broth, put all four of them on a tray, and brought them back to the table. She began placing them at each table setting.

“But I can’t have a family.”

Ms. Bonard spilled a little broth as she fumbled the last bowl to its place setting.

“Tobias Bonard, that is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.” Her tone was stern, direct.

“But I can’t,” he argued innocently and ignorantly.

“Am I not your mother? Am I not your family?” She continued with her austere stance.

“I’m sorry mother. I just meant I can’t have a real family.” Tobias felt as though he had upset her.

Ms. Bonard let out an empathetic sigh. She knew Tobias couldn’t understand her frustration because he wasn’t the cause of it. She feared the ignorance of others, not the innocent ignorance of a young boy. She pulled out a chair from the table and sat in it, motioning for Tobias to come join her. Tobias sat next to her and pulled himself up in it.

“Let me tell you a story,” Ms. Bonard began. “There were two women who both claimed to be gardeners. The first one was given a garden; however, she did not tend to it at all. She neither watered it, nor pulled up the weeds or nurtured the soil for her plants to grow. She eventually abandoned it altogether, and it started to die. The second woman saw the dying garden and decided to revive it. She toiled many hours to irrigate each plant. She trimmed branches of large trees that blocked the sunlight. She tilled the dirt. Eventually, the garden became lush and green again. So I ask you, which of the two women do you believe is the true gardener?”

“Mother, why do you always tell me stories about gardens?” Tobias whined.

“Because I love them,” She laughed. “Now, answer my question. Which of the two women is the true gardener?”

Tobias thought for a moment, then blurted out like an overachieving student who so desperately wanted to answer correctly. “Oh, the second one, most definitely. The woman who cared for the garden.”

“But she wasn’t given the garden originally,” Ms. Bonard challenged her son.

“She took care of it though. It’s because of her the garden didn’t die.”

“Exactly!” Ms. Bonard exclaimed, reaffirming her son’s answer. She grabbed the side of the chair and pulled him closer to her.  “Tobias, just because you were not born to me the way your brothers and sisters were, doesn't mean you aren't just as much my child. Family is not always given. Many times, it is chosen. When I saw you in that toy store, I picked you out of many, and fixed my love on you. When you became alive, I chose to love you even more, and the choice to love someone is never wrong.”

“Even though I’m not human?”

His mother’s smile was like the warmth of a sun-kissed summer. “You're as real as the love I believe in, and that's all I need to know to see how human you've become.”

 

For a time period, because of his mother's love, Tobias rarely if ever thought about becoming human. Of course, being a marionette limited him from a fully human endeavor; however, as more marionettes chose to become human, more stories began to spring up in the villages. Stories about marionettes wanting to take their wish back, their choice to become human. This made Tobias fearful because no one could explain why some marionettes were filled with such regret, but what made Tobias the most afraid was that as he grew older, so did his desire to become human, even in the face of his family's unconditional love.

One afternoon, Tobias and his older brother, Nicholas and sister, Savia were playing in the woods.  As usual, the three were lost in their imaginations. Today’s game was Peter Pan and Captain Hook, one of their favorites. Nicholas took the lead as always and dictated the roles the other two were to be playing. Savia stepped in, being the older and more mature of the two, and made sure her brothers played nice. Tobias’ brother was sometimes overbearing and forceful with Tobias, but only in the way that annoying older brothers sometimes act. All three loved each other very much, and his brother and sister never considered Tobias less than their authentic sibling.

“Okay,” Nicholas said from atop a small boulder. “It’s settled then. I’ll be Captain Hook and you two can be Peter and a lost boy who’ve come to battle me on my ship.”

Tobias and Savia grabbed some sticks to serve as swords and took their positions near the boulder, which was now serving as Captain Hook’s ship. Nicholas assumed the role of Captain Hook, imaginary hook and all.

“And now, I shall take the fight to Pan and his band of rowdy lost boys!” Nicholas proclaimed from the bow of his stone ship.

“Not so fast Hook!” Savia leapt onto the pirate ship and drew her wooden sword, which still had a few leaves attached to it. She failed to pick them off before battle.

“Give up Hook! We’re here to stop you once and for all!’ echoed Tobias in his best scruffy, lost boy voice.

 

In her truest Pan spirit, Tobias’ sister leapt atop the boulder, sword drawn and ready to take down brother Hook. Tobias remained on the ground, cheering on Pan. Hook drew his sword. He and Pan commenced with their battle, their wooden swords cracking against each other as they played out their duel. As the fight reached its semi-rehearsed climax, poor Pan was pierced under the armpit by the tip of Hook’s sword. Peter howled at the imaginary pain of his injury.

“No! Peter!” Tobias screamed, acting in full despair from the tragedy fallen upon his leader.

Savia dropped her sword and fell to the forest floor safely, but dramatically. Tobias rushed to her aid, lying her head on his lap as she breathed her last pretend breaths.

“Oh, Peter,” Tobias cried. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay my friend. Death must come to us all,” Peter whispered. “Just promise me to take care of the others, and John, and Michael--”

“I will Peter.”

“And Mother Wendy. She’s the closest thing to a real mother I’ve ever had.”

Savia let out a presumptuous, theatrical grunt and died. As swiftly as the sun can be hidden by rain clouds, Tobias’ demeanor was altered by his sister’s dying words.

“Well, come on Tobias,” Nicholas urged, noticing his brother’s statuesque posture.       “You now have to avenge Peter’s death by fighting me.”

“I don’t want to play anymore,” Tobias said abruptly.

“What? Why not?” his brother pressed.

“I just don’t want to, that’s all.” Savia sat up, concerned at her brother’s change in tone.

“Fine,” Nicholas said, frustrated that the game had ended so abruptly. “I’m going to go down to the river to skip rocks, if anyone wants to join me.”

He headed down to the river, just a short distance from where they were playing. His sister stayed to inquire more of Tobias’ new found solace.

“Tobias,” Savia began. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing,” he retorted defensively. “I just didn’t want to play pirates and lost boys anymore.”

This was not an isolated incident. Savia had noticed her wooden brother’s sudden changes in mood more and more lately. She simply attributed it to his recent entry into adolescence, but she sensed there was something deeper concerning him.

“Come now, I’m your sister. What’s truly troubling you?”

Tobias had always been able to come to his older sister in times of trouble or confusion, and each and every time she approached him with the same delicate care as their mother did.

“Should I go to the fairy and become human?” Tobias asked.

“Do you want to be human?”

“I do, but I’m afraid.”

“Of what dear brother?”

“The stories I hear.” Savia was quite aware of what tales he was speaking. Ever since the first awakening of marionettes, stories sprang up in the Italian countryside, stories of marionettes longing for their wish to be taken back after it was granted. Tobias was the only marionette in their village, so no one could confirm the stories with any assuredity.

“Do you think it’s true that some don’t wish to be human anymore?” Tobias asked.

Tobias’ sister knew to chose her next words carefully. “I don’t know. I'm not sure I could speak for them. I've only ever been human and know no better.”

Tobias sighed. He wanted a more definitive answer, but his sister resisted giving one. She knew it would be misleading to do so, even if it did comfort him for the moment. She would not leave him defeated however.

“Even if I did think the stories were true, I don’t think it would help you decide,” Savia said, trying to give her brother some hope and light.

“Why not?” Tobias questioned.

“Because I think the only way you’ll ever really know what it’s like to be human is to become one.” Tobias’ sister got up off the ground and offered her hand to him. She put an arm around him, and the two began to walk towards the river to join their brother.

“You know what Tobias?” she grinned.

“What?” he replied.

“I think you’re more human than you realize.”

 

His sister’s words were enough to temporarily put his worries at ease, but Tobias’ peace would not last for long. The next morning, he went out into the woods to play. On his return journey home, while on the trail, he heard giggling coming from over the hill. Startled, he ducked behind a tree and peered to see who was coming over the horizon. As Tobias gripped the tree and peeked to one side, the giggles grew louder and stronger. At the crest of the hill, he now saw four young girls, about his age, laughing as they skipped down the trail toward him.

One particular girl caught Tobias’ attention. Her hair was pulled back with a cream-colored bow and her eyes were the color of topaz. Tobias couldn’t pull his gaze from her. The other girls were pretty, but she was a beauty unto herself. Tobias’ became even more nervous. His joints began to stiffen. He had never felt this way before with other girls. It was new, scary and yet, satisfying.

As the girls came to a fork in the road, the three broke off to head home. They said goodbye to their remaining friend and waved to her as they skipped off down the eastward trail. Tobias watched as they faded in the distance. As they did, he came out from his hiding space and stepped on a branch, snapping it. The snap echoed and bounced off the surrounding trees.

The remaining girl heard the sound and quickly looked over her shoulder to inspect it. She scanned the tree line behind her, but saw nothing. She turned back to the road, but her friends had disappeared over the horizon. Feeling a moment of fear, she considered heading down the road towards the direction of her friends.

As she took a few steps in that direction, all of sudden, she heard a voice from the treeline behind her.

“Hello,” said the voice. “That was me. Sorry if I startled you.”

The young girl peered back to the treeline, scanning it once again for the source of the voice. She now noticed a young marionette boy emerging from the wood. She lowered her defenses and breathed a slight sigh of relief that the mysterious sound was just a harmless puppet.

“Hi. I’m Tobias.” He made his way through the brush of the forest floor and joined her on the trail.

“I’m Abigail,” the young girl said cheerfully. She smiled at him and Tobias again felt the pleasant, satisfying, scary feeling from before. It was was odd for him, to have this fear and pleasantness mix together inside him. He hadn’t experienced them together.

“Do you live nearby?” he asked.

“Yes,” she pointed off to the distance, “in the village between those two mountains. Where do you live?”

“To the east, in the village near the river,” Tobias replied.

The two stood in silence for a few moments. Tobias felt anxious, as if he should think of something to say to keep the young girl entertained.

“Do you have a boyfriend, because I think you are very pretty?” Tobias said it so quickly, and thought about it so little prior to actually saying the words.

The girl laughed shyly. “You’re quite forward, aren’t you Tobias?”

“I am sorry,” Tobias apologized quicker than the last time he spoke. “It's just hard for me sometimes when it comes to social etiquette, not being human and all. I try to read and to study how to act from books my mother bought me, but I forget.”

“I understand,” Abigail assured him, “I had the same difficulty too with emotions before I became human.”

Tobias’ heart, if he had one that is, skipped a beat. What did she say? She had been like him?

“You were a marionette?” Tobias had never in his life met someone who was once as he was currently . Perhaps she could tell him something that would help him make his decision.

Tobias’ mind was racing after learning of Abigail’s original form. For a moment, he almost forgot what her transformation meant on a much grander scale.

“If you were a marionette, that means you met the fairy with azure hair,” he said.

Abigail’s excitement burst open as she enjoyed pleasant memories of the fairy’s beauty and radiance, being in her presence, basking in her warmth.

“I did,” exclaimed Abigail. “She’s full of grace and utterly captivating.”

Tobias couldn’t contain his wonder. “Tell me more, please!”

“Her hair is silk that shines, and her wings glow with the light of a full moon.”

“This makes me want to meet her even more!”

Tobias and Abigail giggled as she delighted in the memories of her encounter, and he daydreamed about standing before her with his wish. As the two spun in childish circles with one another, Abigail stopped and grabbed Tobias’ hand.

“Then why haven’t you, Tobias? Why haven’t you gone to see the fairy?”

Tobias’ joy instantly gave way to fear,  fear of judgment, of accusation, evidences of humanity even humans don’t take delight in knowing.

“I’ve been afraid,” Tobias said.

“Of what?” Abigail inquired further.

“Of the stories of those who desired to take back their wish after it was granted. It makes me afraid to choose. What if I wish to take back my wish?” Tobias’ vulnerability was very pleasant to Abigail. He was honest, and she felt that made him brave.

“You shouldn’t fear those stories,” Abigail’s tone was comforting, and soothing. She moved closer to Tobias. Her hair smelled of lavender, and the scent calmed his anxiety.

“I s-s-shouldn’t?” Tobias fumbled to get his words out.

“No,”Abigail said affirmingly. “Those who regret are fools.”

Tobias wasn’t quite sure what she meant.

Abigail continued. “They are. They are fools. How could anyone not revel in all this beauty we get to experience as humans!” She broke from Tobias and stretched out her arms to the world, spinning in giddiness and laughter again. She took in a deep breath as the winds blew through her hair.

“The fresh air of the mountains and the woods. The soothing sounds of a babbling brook, the hope in every sunrise--” Abigail returned to Tobias and took his splintered hand, placing it in hers. “The touch of each human I meet.” Tobias felt friction, heat within his lumber limbs. It gave him a sense of courage, a feeling of determination, as if anything was suddenly possible and available to him. Abigail’s words were filling Tobias with a sense of purpose, a realization of a divine right bestowed upon him which he was just now realizing.

Surely, this is why the Deep Magic awoke him and the other marionettes, so they could one day take part in the beauty of humanity, so they could fully experience all the world had to offer. Humanity was the path predestined for Tobias.

“Being real, being human, is a glorious gift Tobias, and we should never forget that. Don’t let those who don’t appreciate this gift ruin all the goodness there is to be found in this world. The choice must be yours and yours alone, but if you believe, follow your heart, and ask the fairy to grant your wish, you will be rewarded, I promise.” With those final words, Abigail kissed Tobias on the cheek and skipped off towards her village.

Tobias watched her leave, daydreaming and emboldened by the prettiest girl he had ever come across. She was right, and he could see that now. He would conquer his fear, quell his worries, and seek out the fairy to grant his wish.

That night, Tobias left his home. The fairy was said to live in the deeper part of the woods near the foot of the mountains, and so Tobias would search her out there. After everyone had fallen asleep, Tobias snuck out of his room window and began the trek to change his destiny. He walked through the night and stopped to rest shortly before the sun rose. He obtained a few hours of sleep, ate some food and satisfied his thirst, then returned to the trail.

By  the time the noon sun passed overhead, Tobias had come to an opening in the woods. There was a side trail that broke off from the main path and veered off from the opening. Tobias followed it to the base of the mountains. At the base was a small cottage sheltered by large oak trees, whose branches dripped with moss. Tobias cautiously approached the front door. It was slightly open. He peeked his head in and looked around, but he didn’t see anyone. The door whined and creaked as Tobias pushed it the rest of the way open.

“Hello?” Tobias called. “Miss fairy? With the azure hair? Are you here?”

Tobias took a few steps into the cottage, waiting for an answer, but no one spoke back. Tobias, disappointed and discouraged, turned to leave. Perhaps, he had just missed the fairy, or maybe this wasn’t eve her cottage. Whatever the reason, Tobias had travelled a long distance for nothing.

“Why hello,” a voice said as Tobias was about to leave. “I didn’t know I was expecting company.”

Tobias whipped around to see the most exquisite creature standing at his back. It was the fairy. Her eyes captivated him instantly. They sparkled like a crystal clear lake. Her hair was silky and flowing, crisp shades of blue layered throughout. She was carrying two vials of colorful potion that smoked and bubbled in her hands.

“I’m sorry to intrude,” Tobias said, looking at the ground, trying to being reverent in the presence of royalty. “My name is Tobias, and I have travelled quite some way to beseech you to--”

“You wish to be human,” The fairy finished Tobias’ thought for him.

“Yes madam. How did you know?” the little wooden boy asked.

The fairy laughed at his innocence. “Marionettes. Your ignorance and simplicity are such wonderful gifts. Come, sit with me.”

The fairy set her vials of potion on a large circular oak table in the middle of her home and pulled out a chair to sit. Tobias remained frozen, still awe struck by her magnificence.

“Well?” the fairy asked him once again. Tobias broke his inanimate stance and made his way to the other chair next to the fairy.

“I’m sorry it’s so difficult for me to speak. You are most radiant.”

“Thank you Tobias,” she said humbly. “Now, why do you seek to be made human?”

Tobias took a deep breath and revealed his desire to her.

“And you are sure this is your heart’s desire? To become human?” she asked.

“I am most sure, dear fairy. It is all I desire, and I will not be satisfied until my wish is granted. I know this.” Tobias didn’t know why the fairy was questioning his desire.

“Very well,” the fairy responded solemnly. “I will grant your wish Tobias, but you must understand that once I grant you this wish, it cannot be undone. Again, are you sure this is your wish?”

Tobias was still confused as to why she continued to ask this.

“Dear fairy, why do you question my wish so?”

“Because I must. I ask this of everyone so you will know that it is your heart’s pure desire that ignites this wish. You and the marionettes are very special; otherwise, the Deep Magic would not have blessed you. I have the power to continue that blessing, but not the power to remove it.”

Was that all? Tobias thought the fairy a bit mad to think he would ever consider taking his wish back. To be human was the surest destiny Tobias knew now and nothing could waver his faith in that belief.

“You may ask me a million times dear fairy, but my answer will always be yes. Make me human.”

And so Tobias' wish was granted by the fairy. Finally, he was human, and he wasted no time enjoying his blessed gift. He tasted the most exquisite foods. He partook in social gatherings with other children his own age and relished in the laughs they shared. He swam through the lake, laid out in the sun, ran through the windy meadow. He enjoyed many moments of joyous fellowship and did not deny himself any pleasure. His heart was full, and for the first time ever he was able to experience the fullness of that love with his family, authentic human love.

One day, Tobias and Abigail spent the day exploring all the trails in the woods and the secrets within the forest. They packed a picnic and had lunch near the waterfall. They swam in the warm springs of the river and layed out on the rolling hills under the sun. As the warmth of the sun comforted the pair and a light breeze blew through their hair, Tobias decided it was time to  reveal his true feelings for Abigail.

“Abigail,” Tobias began as thoughts of their first encounter filled his memory, making his fingers tingle and his palms sweat. “I’ve fallen in love with you.” His words floated in vulnerability.

“Why...thank you Tobias. That’s very sweet of you.” Tobias didn’t comprehend her answer. He had just revealed his true love for her, and it was now her time to tell Tobias how much she loved him; however, she said no more and the two sat on the hillside in momentary silence.

“Is that all you have to say?” Tobias asked disappointedly.

“What would you have me say?” Abigail retorted.

“Abigail, I just told you I love you. What are your feelings toward me?”

Abigail hesitated and looked off into the distance, searching the horizon for her answer, and realizing Tobias would not be content with what she would say.

“I’m sorry Tobias. I enjoy your company, truly I do, but I don’t wish to be in love with anyone right now.”

“Oh,” Tobias muttered. “I see.” Suddenly, their first encounter in the woods didn’t seem as magical and exciting as it was a moment ago.

“I want to see more of the world, meet new people and explore. I want to be young and free--”

“It’s fine,” Tobias barked. Tobias was hurt and angry, but he wasn’t sure why. He tried to find a nicer tone in his voice. “It’s fine.” he repeated. “ I understand.” Tobias lied. She couldn’t know how he really felt.

“I’m sorry Tobias, I didn’t know.” Abigail said trying to console him.

“Didn’t know?” Tobias snapped. Tobias felt foolish. In his mind, his intentions and feelings toward Abigail were abundantly evident, but now, he realized how separate and different their perceptions were of one another. Tobias desperately wanted to leave. He didn’t want Abigail to see his hurt.

“I don’t feel well, I’m going to go home now,” Tobias said in a monotone voice. He turned to leave.

“Tobias wait,” Abigail pleaded. He didn’t respond though. She simply watched him walk away, his silhouette blending in with the forest as the mist swallowed him up.

Ms. Bonard had been in her garden working when Tobias arrived home from his outing with Abigail. As she was tilling the dirt with her spade, she heard the creek of the garden fence. She turned and noticed a head bobbing over the tops of the corn stalks. She left her tools on the ground and walked to the edge of her garden where there was an opening. Sitting on the small yellow bench next to the garden bird bath was Tobias. His shoulders were slumped and his gaze was fixed on a pair of sparrows bathing next to him.

Ms. Bonard approached her son. “Tobias? Is everything okay? I thought you were on a picnic with Abigail.”

“I was,” Tobias said, barely acknowledging his mother as he continued to watch the birds. “ I decided to come home.”

“Sweetheart, what’s the matter? What’s troubling you?”

Tobias was almost too hurt and embarrassed to speak. “Abigail doesn’t love me.”

Ms. Bonard’s heart sank, as if she was the one whose love Abigail had not returned.

“Oh, Tobias. I’m so sorry.” Ms. Bonard pulled her son close to her, his head resting on her bosom, his arms clutching onto her.

“I thought she felt the same way I did.” Tobias’ tears were starting to dampen his mother’s blouse.

“I know you did. Love hurts sometimes,” his mother said.

“Love, how can this be love? I don’t feel this way with you, and I love you.”

“It’s a different kind of love. The love between us is both given and received. Love hurts when it’s given and not returned.”

“Well, I don’t like it,” Tobias protested, standing up from the bench. “I do not enjoy this type of love!”

“No one does,” his mother retorted calmly.

“Then why does it exist at all then? If it is of no benefit?”

“I don’t know Tobias. All I can say is I’m sorry you’ve been hurt.”

Tobias’ mood transformed from one of sadness and heartache, to confusion, and then to one of anger. This couldn’t be what love was supposed to be. How could it? Love had not felt like this when he was a marionette, when he wasn’t human.

“The fairy!” Tobias shouted. “She has tricked me. She has tricked me and I want to know why!”

Ms. Bonard was unable to console her son. Tobias was human now, so no answer would ever satisfy him. As Tobias reached the garden gate, he looked back at his mother, who was still sitting on the bench. She wasn’t going to stop him, or tell him he was wrong because of how he was feeling. She would sit and do the only thing she knew to do, love her son.

Tobias hiked the trails straight to the fairy’s cottage. She would answer for her trickery. Tobias would see to it. Just shortly before approaching her home, Tobias found the fairy off the main trail. She was in a clearing, sitting peacefully on a tree stump, watching a couple of chipmunks wrestle over a few acorns.

Tobias marched straight over to her, catching her by surprise.

“Tobias, my dear boy, you have returned,” the startled fairy said.

“Dear fairy, I was just on my way to see you at your home. I have many queries and much that needs explaining.”

“Is that so?” the fairy replied. It seemed as though she was not surprised at all by Tobias’ return to her.

“Yes, I’m quite perplexed by the whole situation. You see, I was happy, and then quite unexpectedly, and through no fault of my own, I wasn’t. This is not what I expected. When I came to you, I wished to be made human--”

“And I have granted that wish.” The fairy interrupted Tobias. She no longer had her somber tone.

“Yes, but I didn’t ask to feel like this!”

“And neither did I ask to have the power to grant wishes to marionettes!” The fairy was no longer cordial.

“This is not what I wanted!”

“‘It is all I desire. I will not be satisfied until my wish is granted.’ ‘You may ask me a million times dear fairy, but my answer will always be yes.’ These are all your words, not mine.”

“How was I supposed to know about the unpleasant, painful side of love! I wasn’t human then!” Tobias protested. He would not take responsibility for a consequence of actions he had never agreed to take part.

“And how should I try to stop someone who knows their hearts desire but cannot see the pain lest they are human.” The fairy was no longer angry. She was hurt, hurt the same way Tobias had been hurt.

“Then why do you do it?” Tobias asked.

The fairy brushed Tobias’ hair with her hand as if he were her own son.

“Because your eyes are always bright and full of hope when you come to ask.”

Tobias stood silent.

“It started with my son. Perhaps I should have told him 'no', but all he wanted was to become a real boy. I loved him too much to tell him 'no', even though I knew life would not always be kind to him. I'm sorry you've discovered the unpleasant side of being human, but if I told you 'no', how much more would your anger have burned against me?”

The fairy cried to Tobias, having waited a thousand life times to confess her sins and relieve herself of a burden that was carried for far too long.

“Tobias!” Tobias heard someone in the distance calling his name. He turned see his brother and sister running towards him from the treeline. He turned back to the fairy, but she was no longer there. The tree stump she had been sitting on was now empty.

“Tobias!” his sister screamed his name one last time as she came up to him. His brother was right behind her, trying to catch his breath.

“What?” Tobias asked, concerned by her frantic tone of voice. “What’s the matter?”

“It’s mother,” Nicholas managed to get out through his short breaths. “She’s fallen in the garden and hit her head badly.”

Tobias and his family rushed to his mother's aid. As they ran through the woods towards home, thought began to fill Tobias’ mind. Thoughts that had not been with him for years. Thoughts of his mother holding him as a young boy, running her fingers through his yarny locks of hair as she rocked him back and forth, trying to get him to sleep. He could feel the buzz and vibration from his mother’s lullaby humming, the warmth of her protective hugs. The laughter they shared when Tobias baked cookies with her in the kitchen, cookies he’d never eat. He could smell aromas of baked sugar floating in the kitchen once the oven was opened. There were also thoughts of guilt though as Tobias thoughts uncontrollably began to ponder possibilities of the unknown. What if their moment in the garden was the last they would spend together? What if Tobias’ rejection of his mother’s comfort would be the last moment they shared?

When the three arrived at their house, the doctor Nicholas and Savia had already called for arrived.  His carriage and horse were parked along the side of the cabin. They ran into their home and saw the door to their mother’s room was closed. Suddenly, the doctor opened the door, stopping the siblings in their tracks. He took a deep breath and made eye contact with all three before lowering his head in respect for the lost they had just suffered. Tobias’ mother was gone.

At the passing of his mother, Tobias fell into deep despair, and could not be consoled, not even by his family. They tried desperately to help him through his grief, but they could not reach him. He became secluded, and spent his days alone in his mother's garden, which was beginning to die from neglect. He would sleep restlessly through the night, and upon morning, he would wander through the garden, stopping periodically to sit and weep, and then continue on in mundane routine. The last words exchanged between Tobias and his mother in the garden would speak to him every so often in his wandering, and every time it did, he regretted more and more his wish to become human.

One morning, Tobias’ brother and sister decided to go to market. They tried convincing their little brother to join them, but in routine fashion, he refused. After they had left, he went out to the dead garden and sat on the bench by the birdbath. The birdbath was dry and empty, vacant of any inhabitants for quite some time. This uninvolved existence had become Tobias’ life, and it seemed as if nothing could wake him from his grave of solitude and grief.

“Will you just look at this garden?” a voice said from beyond the garden fence. Tobias was shaken from his sadness momentarily. He peered in the direction he had heard the voice. Through the dead and dying corn stalks, Tobias could see an older gentleman just beyond the garden fence. We was wearing a canary-yellow button up shirt with a vibrant red bowtie, a worn-tweed jacket, and a tan, leather fedora. Tucked into the side of the fedora was a robin’s feather.

The older gentleman noticed Tobias as he was looking over the garden. “I’m sorry son. I didn’t see you there. Good day to you. I’m apologize if I insulted your garden.”

“It’s okay,” Tobias replied. “I assure you, it used to be much prettier.”

“I’m sure it did,” The man said confidently. He opened the garden gate and made his way to Tobias, who was still sitting on the bench, only half engaged in the conversation with the man.

“Doesn’t matter much now though, it’s dead.” Tobias kicked some dry dirt with his feet.

“Oh, it needs some work most assuredly,” the man said, trying to be encouraging, “but I was speaking in terms of the potential. It's the nice thing about gardens. They can almost always be brought back to life if given the right amount of care.”

“Well, thank you sir,” Tobias replied, “It used to be my mother’s,”

“Forgive me if I sound rude son, but why has your mother neglected it so?”

“She passed away, sir.”

The man took his hat off out of respect. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

The man hitched up his pants at the waist and plopped down on the bench next to Tobias. He let out a discomfort-of-age sigh as his rear end hit the seat.

“Have you given any thought to taking care of the garden yourself?” the man inquired.

“No. It was her garden, and she’s gone.”

“All the more reason to take up a water can and till, isn't it? So her essence lives on through you and the garden? Or you could give it to someone who wishes to care for it.”

“What does it matter? The garden will die one way or another someday.”

“But perhaps--”

Tobias was not in a mood to be encouraged or coerced. “Excuse me, sir. I know your intentions are noble, but I'm currently in mourning over my loss and ask you kindly, leave me be.”

The man could sense Tobias’ frustrated tone. He did not wish to frustrate him further.

“I do apologize,” the man began, “It was not my intention to upset you. I just hate to watch beautiful things die if they can be saved.”

“Saved from what?” Tobias shot up from his bench and turned back to the man, who was still sitting. Apparently, the man would not leave it be.“Will it not eventually die? Will its beauty not fade regardless of who tends it? I know that is the way of everything in the world, and so shall it be for this garden.”

“But a thing is not beautiful because it lasts though,” the man objected.

“Then beauty is a cruel joke.”

The man stood up and let out another age-riddled sigh. He put his hands in his pockets and walked over to the birdbath, dipping his finger in the dry well, wondering if he’d find any water drops at the bottom. “Yes. The world can be very cruel. That is true. I have experienced its cruelty, its pain, its uncaring silence, and I am sorry this pain has found you. It's a unique inhumanity all humans experience I suppose.”

“Human?” Tobias challenged. “Humanity is a pointless existence.”

“Now that’s not true at all.” The man reproached Tobias.

“Live as a non-human, then you can lecture me on humanity.”

“Oh, I have.”

“Have what?”

“Lived as a non-human.”

For Tobias, it was just like the moment he learned about Abigail’s true identity, except this time, he had wisdom and the unfortunate knowledge of humanity.

“You were a marionette as well?” Tobias asked.

“Yes I was. Name’s Pinocchio.”

Tobias was not impressed with this type of practical joke, especially at the current moment. Simply because of ironic curiosity, Tobias decided to entertain the stranger, who had obviously lost his wits. That name was in no way common, and it was completely singular.

“That’s a very famous name,” Tobias began.

“Yes I know. It means pine seed. I was not fond of it as a boy. The school yard bullies called me 'piney-nut'.” The man was caught up in the unpleasant memory from his childhood.

“He was the first marionette to become human. He's why so many marionettes decided to become real.” Tobias rationalized this man must not be local or even know of the current history of the surrounding villages.

“Yes. I know. He also used to cause his father much trouble as a boy.”

“You sure seem to know a lot about him,” Tobias continued testing the man, waiting for him to give up his ruse, or act, or whatever he was trying to be at the moment.

“It’s because I am him,” the man proclaimed. Tobias raised a doubting eyebrow, again challenging the man’s story. “Fine, don’t believe me, but the Deep Magic blessed me in the same way it has blessed you.”

“The Deep Magic--” Tobias lamented scornfully, “ I wish it had never woken me.”

“I have wished the same many times,” the man joined Tobias’ lamenting.

“What is the point of it then? Being alive, being real?” Tobias begged. He didn’t care who gave him an answer at this point. He just wanted one.

“There doesn’t seem to be much of one, does there?” The man said plainly. “In fact, the only real reason I can I know to be human is to simply experience humanity.”

“So,” Tobias said, defeated. “there is no answer to the question of humanity then. Is that what you’re telling me?”

“No. What I’m saying is there is no question about humanity that need be answered.”

“So it’s true, there is no point to being alive.”

“No, there is.”

Tobias, who had no hope left and no magic to believe in, who, as a human, had found himself in the full company of despair, disbelief, and emotional exhaustion, cried out the last bit of humanity he had within him.

“What is it then?”

“To love.”

The man pulled the boy close to him as if he were his own son, and hugged him and Tobias cried. He cried his guilt, his confusion, his sadness, and the more he cried, the easier the load he was carrying.

The man sat with Tobias for about another hour. They discussed pleasant memories of their mothers and created a plan to return the garden to its former glory. As they finished, then man grabbed a pale, filled it with water, and poured it into the bird bath. A small finch landed on the edge of the fountain and dipped its beak into the water, satisfying its thirst.

“Look at that,” the man said joyfully. “Our first tenant has returned.”

Tobias smiled too.

“Well,” the man said as he placed his fedora back on his head, “I must be off. I wish you peace and love my new friend.” The two hugged once more and the man started walking to the garden gate. Tobias watched him leave, wondering if this moment in the garden had been placed in time long before he or the man existed, or was it just a needed coincidence? Either way, it didn’t seem to matter.  As the man reached the fence, Tobias remembered one last thing.

“Wait,” Tobias called out to the man as he opened the gate. “I’m sorry, I must ask, for if I don’t my curiosity will drive me mad...are you truly, the real Pinocchio?”

The man leaned in and said with grin, “Trust me, if I was lying... you’d know.”

 

THE END